hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
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Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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