Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
