just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
