I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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