My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Randomize
