I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
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Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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