please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
