i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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