You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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