I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
