I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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