Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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