ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
