But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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