I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i think my cat just said my name.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
