we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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