im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
