Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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