Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize