It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
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I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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