It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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