You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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