I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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