Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
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Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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