i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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