no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fuck appropriateness.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
