they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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