glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
should my penis look like a turkey
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
