I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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