My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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