I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
