So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I had to cum in my sink.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
