you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
