fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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