It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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