I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
