my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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