we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
