Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
