who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I am one with the molecules
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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