So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
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I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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