Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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