Your mouth is God's brothel.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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