Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
