hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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