Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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