So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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