My liver just broke up with me...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
