maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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