Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
