brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
