can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
