He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just want nice things and good sex
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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