piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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