god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
