hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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