So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
