i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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