What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
