My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
