A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
